I’m back ladies and gents! (As in back to my regular babbling after a month of poetry of dubious quality…) And as of today I have officially finished with all my coursework for the year! So excited! Anyways….I should be doing housework right now, but I kinda missed the randomness that are my Tuesday post so, in honour of immaturity and unrealistic expectations, here’s the top ten trailer clips that made or broke movie expectations for me:
1. Avengers: Age of Ultron
While the full trailer was cool (and so was the movie for the matter…) any chance Ultron had to be considered a menace in my book was lost when he quoted Disney’s freaking Pinocchio! Dude, you have access to the entire World Wide Web through whatever passes as your brain! Couldn’t you find something more bad-ass for your trailer line?
2. The Craft
I was going to watch it, I swear! Then tagline “Exorcise your rites” appeared. I can forgive the 90s for A LOT, but lame puns? No, sir this is where I draw the line. Especially when it’s puns that don’t make much sense. Although, having watched the trailer, I now have this theory that The Craft is a prequel to The Mentalist series, focusing on Teresa Lisbon’s teenage rebellion phase. Oh, the crossover possibilities!
3. The Last Airbender
WARNING! STRONG LANGUAGE FOLLOWS!
-ahem- Fuck you! Whoever greenlit that movie, I will happily feed to the (completely out of nowhere, deus ex machina) dragon. The clip I have here is actually not the trailer I watched before I saw the movie (that was the other one with the Fire Nation ship approaching the Air Temple that never made it to the movie) but it still showcases most of the wrongs: blah acting, lightning that is all wrong, ridiculous displays of bending (especially if you, like me, are a fan of the original show), the booming sound effect from Inception and did I mention the fact that not a single hint of the lightness of the series made it here? Seriously, watch the Nostalgia Critic’s review or the Honest Trailer, they’ll prepare you better for the movie than the official trailer. Or better yet! Watch the animated series. Ok, rant over. Moving on.
4. Rise of the Guardians
Saw this one on the cinema, and oh my various gods I was hyped! Couldn’t wait for the movie to come out and watched as soon as it was out. Did it live up to my expectations? For from it! It exceeded them! (And of course the chance to hear the voice of Wolverine coming from a bunny for a treat on its own…) This is one of those trailers that I love. Give you just enough of the plot and characters to get you excited but not enough to make feel you don’t need to watch the movie. -sigh- Now if only we could get a sequel….
Um…false expectations anyone? I really liked this trailer, it showed so much promise. And don’t get me wrong, the movie wasn’t that bad. Wasn’t great either but at least it wasn’t -shudder- Cars. Also, reminding the audience of previous, more successful movies from your studio? Not very classy.
6. Star Trek: Into Darkness
This one’s a special case. Yes, it doesn’t give us much in terms of what-the-heck-is-happening, which I suppose it to be expected since they were trying to keep the identity of the villain a secret. One the other hand, it was a very well edited couple of minutes and it had Benedict Cumberbatch and snarky!Spock, so my inner-fangirl was appeased enough to shut up the inner-critic.
7. Hunchback of Notre Dame
Ok, confession time. I hadn’t watched this trailer before I started writing this post. However, Hunchback of Notre Dame is one my favourite Disney movies and I was curious to see how they first promoted it. -sob- Good thing I watched the movie first… Talk about underwhelming. Oh, and the way they mash the lines together? Yeah, it doesn’t work. It just confuses you when you watch the movie and realise that what you thought was single scene is actually three different ones duct-taped together. My recommendation? Go straight for the movie.
8. Tinker Bell and the Pirate Fairy
Yes, I watched it. No, I am not ashamed. It had Tom Hiddleston as a singing, younger version of Captain Hook. Sue me, it sounded cool! Was it cool? So-so. If you’re looking for mindless fun, yeah. Come on, it’s a Tinker Bell movie!
9. Batman vs Superman: Dawn of Justice
Will I be watching the movie? Noooooooooooooo! Guys, get it through your heads! Angst and drama are all well and good, but they cannot be the only characteristics you promote in a movie! I will be the first to admit that I am not very familiar with the DC-verse outside the Justice League cartoon, but it cannot be all doom and gloom. Also, the glow-y eyes thing in the new Batman costume. It looks silly. Also, also, IMBd says that Wonder Woman and Aquaman are confirmed as characters. They’re not exactly small fry, so why the heck are they not even hinted at at the trailer? If you’re going to set up for a Justice League movie, don’t keep the focus on tall-dark-and-justifiably-broody and tall-dark-and-OOC-broody.
10. Rise of the Avengers (fanvid)
Okay, I cheated with this one. It’s not a legit movie. But gosh, I wish it was! Found it a few nights ago, when I was on YouTube for way longer than what is probably healthy. I’m not gonna say anything other than it is one of the best mash-up trailers I have ever seen and if anyone knows of a fanfic along these lines PLEASE send me a link!
So, what do you think? Any trailers that should have been included? (I almost put the new Star Wars one, but I’m holding out for the movie before I pass judgement. The only reason Batman vs Superman made it to the list is because I was really, really, really peeved about the whole not-including-Wonder Woman thing….)
Additional disclaimer: It goes without saying that the trailers belong to whoever owns the rights to the movies/characters/however copyright works. I’m only spreading the love and the snark (and in the case of Last Airbender, the unadulterated loathing).