Tag Archives: humour

A Most Needed Invention

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Brightest minds of this world

Heed this plea, I beg you!

Abandon all contrivances of old,

Give story-telling a new hue.

 

The proposed invention here,

In its brilliant conception,

Would make you surely friends dear

To the writers of all Creation.

 

A machine would be most simple

That would all our stories record,

Authorial productivity would triple

If their thought transformed to word.

 

 

Think it please and make it happen,

So much potential lies unchartered!

An ode to impatient students

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Do you hear the students scream?

Screaming in great impatience?

Because their tutors are away

And never do what they are asked!

When the deadline’s overdue

And you haven’t seen a mark

There is no life until

An e-mail from the Hub!

 

Will you join in our crusade?

Will you be stubborn as can be?

Spam them with e-mails

Until they can no longer think?

 

Then jump the bandwagon

Of loudly complaining on FB!

 

Do you hear the students scream?

Screaming about their references?

It is that time of year again

For stress and forms and flattery!

When the beating at their doors

Echoes the moaning at the hubs

There is complaint about to start

When tomorrow comes!

The Town Crier

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One moment your attention, if you will!

I have an announcement to make!

Peer pressure worked its magic once again,

And NaPoWriMo I’ll be attempting.

So, no regular updates for a month,

Sorry for leaving SoF in a cliffhanger.

Clearly I have no preservation of self,

We’ve all seen what happens

When I attempt the post-per-day motif….

How long until I go coocoo this time?

I do acknowledge this is a shameless plug,

But hey! I girl has got to try!

So tune in tomorrow and every day after,

Let’s how long I’ll keep this

From being a disaster!

Week 12 commandments

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  1. Thou shalt not keep overdue book loans.
  2. Thou shalt share thy chocolate and thy alcohol with thy fellow students.
  3. Thou shalt not hog a computer desk if thou hast a laptop.
  4. Thou shalt not flaunt thy essay-free status on Facebook.
  5. Thou shalt refrain from bribing thy tutor with food.
  6. Thou shalt not hold house parties while thy flatmate is studying.
  7. Respect the third-years for they have trodden the wilderness thou hast yet to cross.
  8. Thou shalt type an honest word count.
  9. Thou shalt not bemoan thy fate. Everyone is facing the same plight.
  10. Thou shalt reference thy quotes.
  11. Thou shalt honour the university coffee-shops for their fare is thy sustenance.
  12. Thou shalt limit thy procrastination for thy actually need a good grade.

In the name of the HUB, and the MLA, and the Holly Rubric, amen.