Tag Archives: supernatural

The trouble with great ideas

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The other night I was running commentary with a friend over some episodes from Season 11 of Supernatural (particularly the one where Chuck makes his -dubiously- deus ex machina return). Here be SPOILERS so you have been warned. Since Amara’s character was introduced I figured she was the elder sister, and frankly Chuck’s nigh-constant whining about her points to younger sibling, no offence intended to anyone reading this. All questions of sibling dynamics for beings on the higher end of the divinity scale aside it got me thinking and going all head-canon-y. The Supernatural verse is frustratingly vague in terms of how-things-work on the subject of Creation, though, to be fair, in a show were all religious pantheons and Darwin’s evolution theory coexist the explanation would no doubt make somebody’s brain explode.

And it’s so annoying cause I am so close to marrying all these potential Creation and End-of All stories in one cohesive explanation! It’ll probably be something I’ll work on over Christmas, since I really want to talk about it, but it is also the type of post that will require research and diagrams and possibly me bugging a friend or two to beta-read it before it goes up… And therein lies on of the major issues that most often hold me back from writing. I think I’ve talked about it before but telegraph version is that:

a. There is no true correspondence from language to language

b. I tend to think in several languages simultaneously -and sometimes non-verbally- when working through a complicated problem

c. Have fun translating to words of a singular language the mental equivalent of a fractal, especially in the subjects of existential philosophy and Jungian philosophy….

I had a go at it when I was writing my MA dissertation (because analysing archetypal mythological Aspects and their evolution sounded fun in theory) and let me tell you, my first drafts were a textbook case of “It’s funnier in Enochian”! And I can’t even read Enochian! But yeah… it took a lot of reworking and rewording and the end result doesn’t say nearly as much as I’d like it to but at least it’s accessible to people who did not spend a few years of their lives reading up on mythology, Campbell’s theories of the questing hero, Jungian archetypes and, yes, even trope characteristics. I suspect this upcoming post will go through a very similar process… Hey, if you guys fancy I can scan the original, handwritten post too for comparison’s sake! We’ll see. Either way, bless my ability to remember dialogue from movies/episodes/books. Much as I wouldn’t mind rewatching the show there’s the small issue of days having only 24 hours… And me, for better or worse, needing to do other things with my time too…

Stay tuned however! I’m not about to let a damn good headcannon go wasted!

Until then, cheerio!

In which I am doing a “Dear Diary” thing

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Which really is a fancy way of saying I’ve managed to hit new lows on the whole how-to-human thing and this will result either in a breakdown of some sort (I suspect it will involve plenty of walking in the cold and/or cooking) or in a spectacularly bad piece of writing (even by my own standards). Funny thing is, if I’m to be 100% honest here, for once it’s not entirely my fault! Cold comfort but hey!

So how did I manage to dig myself even deeper in my hole? It started when, after months of nagging from certain parties, I finally joined Tumblr. For obvious reasons I will not be linking THAT account with this one. Ever. For those who don’t know why that is obvious, let me sum it up with two gifs:

This is me excited about my fandoms and wanting to talk about it with someone: running-around

And this is most people I am on regular speaking terms with:

really

Btw, Dean you are not fooling anyone! (But that’s beside the point….)

Well, not everyone and not all the time but often enough that I figured joining a platform that’s famous for it’s geeking out on any and all subjects might be in order. There seems to be this misconception that storytelling is confined entirely to the literary medium, that other modes of expression are somehow….less everything. Less valid, less important, less worth your time…. But I love storytelling in all its forms and expressions, good or bad, thought through or impulsive. And no, not like this jackass:

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For me a novel, a TV show, a movie or even a song stand on the same ground. But so does fanfiction and fanart and all those little head-canons that are the inevitable results of late night conversations with those friends that also get it. And this is where I’ll go all academic on you, but dammit it used to be that oral storytelling was just as important (if not more) as its written counterpart! Has anyone paused to consider that maybe, just maybe, in our digital age, the explosion of expression that is summed up as “geeking” or “fangirling” is the natural evolution of oral storytelling. We study mythology and folklore, always with the caveat that this is merely one expression (the transcribed one that is) of a story that has been reworked no one knows how many times. Be it memory deficiency, adapting it to different audiences or even tailoring it to the storyteller’s personal beliefs, so long as the heart of each story stayed true it remained current and loved. And you cannot convince me that there has never been a skald or a bard or a minstrel that’s been booed to silence because he messed up a beloved story. Want a more recent example? How about the recent explosion over Harry Potter and the Cursed Child and whether or not it stayed true to the source material? Or the changes made in adaption from book to movie for the Percy Jackson trilogy or even the Hobbit? We love our fandoms because they are our generation’s mythologies, so it stands to reason that we’d want to talk about them and defend them.

This little rant out of the way, you’d think, since I feel so passionate about the subject, that Tumblr would be a virtual paradise for me. In some ways it is. So much more material for me to access on all my interests. People with the same likes just as eager to talk about them. I don’t have to hold myself or my enthusiasm back, at all! It’s like the first day in a new school all over again! Which, for someone who makes this awkward nugget…

cas-fbi

…look well adjusted  on her worse days, is not the best of scenarios. I didn’t think it’d be possible to get tongue-tied writing anything other than covering letters (which I’m blaming on whoever is currently taking credit for bureaucracy) but it has actually happened! I read once that people who cover their mouth when they smile, usually, have been repeatedly told that they don’t have a nice smile/white enough teeth/something else equally stupid. By that logic, being told too often that being passionate about something and eager to share it is wrong/boring/irrelevant/immature (and yes, I’ve heard all these, most often followed by or preempted by “What are you up to these days”), will eventually lead you to hesitate sharing anything. Even in an environment where you know it is safe, nay welcomed to do so. I guess it goes hand-in-hand with my eternal question “how do you make friends?” but when I have to stop myself from typing “sorry for bothering you” when I am giving an episode reaction/recap to a friend even after being expressively told that it’s cool…well…. There’s a reason I tend to identify with the socially awkward and/or antisocial characters.

What am I gonna do about it? Most likely take it in stages, move at a glacial pace and hope for the best. The whole social-butterfly boat sailed but when I was five but maybe I’ll find a few more quiet, screaming-inside people and we can apologise and share fun facts to each other like the world’s weirdest game of Chinese whispers?

What’s with the gifs anyway?

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I’ve been using them more than usual lately and it got me thinking. What is about those tiny soundless videos that makes them so appealing? Is it because of the (oft humorous) random factor? Is it that movement conveys sometimes emotion better than text or even an emoticon? Is it that the excuse “Sorry, wrong gif” is more believable than “Sorry, I just typed an entire paragraph of an explanation but you took it the wrong way and now I need to retract?” Or maybe it is that it is a relatively subtle of sharing your fandoms with the uninitiated… As a certain someone so eloquently put it:

we have a gif for that

Whatever that happens to be…

I don’t know, it could be a phase. I remember back when Yahoo! first introduced e-mail backgrounds and I was going nuts over it. Or maybe it’s like quoting movies/books/shows/songs with a straight face and waiting to see who gets it first. You kind of start doing it one day and then you can’t stop. For me it’s part of the appeal of online media. You don’t need to be restricted to one form communication. It used to be that the verbal/textual dichotomy reigned supreme but these days, even a basic platform like Facebook Messenger offers the options of text, emoticons, gifs, images, video and even recorded voice messages (which I deplore but anyway). As someone who can be very chatty when typing and who uses a lot of gesturing and facial expressions in tete-a-tetes the option to show my expression rather than have to figure out the equivalent verbal expression. Especially when I’m a rapid-fire conversations. You know the ones!

Side note: YouTube is on shuffle and the Mary Poppins soundtrack just came on. Excuse me while I go wallow in nostalgia….

What was I talking about again? Oh, yes! Gifs! So, am I the only one doing this thing? You know, kind of doing something without thinking about it, then pausing, realising what I’m doing and having a mini existential crisis about it? Can’t be, right? And by that I mean the only one doing this OUTSIDE of Tumblr, possibly the only self-aware internet entity that commands both my deep fear and eternal respect. I steer clear from there for now. I do have the occasional deadline to keep up with!

Well, this is awkward…

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(“Awkward” being a word I normally cannot spell…) What you ask? The weather for one. -glares at overcast sky- The relative calmness of my mental state for another. No kidding, since I started back with the full time research again I’ve been much more…balanced is not quite the right word but you know what I mean. I’m basically pulling a Hermione Granger, diving in books, taking notes, finding more books to read…It’s…nice. Familiar. The sort of thing that I can be comfortable with.

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Books, stories, they’ve always been easier to be around than people. I enjoy talking to people (sometimes) but it’s so hard to figure out what they actually mean most of the time. Sarcasm and irony, those I can handle. Heck! Most of what comes out of my mouth falls under those categories. It’s when this isn’t an option that things get hard. I know, right? Straightforward would be harder for me….

kkCas

What the pretty angel in a trench-coat said. I sometimes wonder if there was some sort of mandatory class in how to communicate with other people that I missed. I know I’m not the only leaving conversations feeling like they missed something.

And yet, even with the underlying note of stress that never seems to leave me these days, I’m good. Not totally ok but cautiously finding myself willing to venture out of my cave. We had a careers fair the other day and being surrounded by noise and people wasn’t quite as overwhelming as it might have been two weeks ago. I suppose the sunshine on the past few days helped too. I’m always better when I’m under the sun (even if I go home and feel like I’ve boiled my brain.)

So there! Tiny steps, plenty of books, (hopefully) more sun to bask under and very limited human contact. Sounds good to me.

Automatic writing exercise (aka why I must not stay up late)

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It was cold, it was wet, and I wanted to punch someone. So….a typical Monday morning. The mist curled around my ankles as I leaned tiredly against the bus stop, like wet fingers crawling up my spine. Yawn after half-formed yawn I shook myself. Staying up late last night had not been a good idea but the alternative -an eight-hour roller coaster of nightmares- didn’t sound very inviting either. A shiver ran through my spine as it started to actually rain and the shadows of the nearby trees lengthened sinisterly. Great! Just what I needed! I’m running late for my class and now I’m to have an encounter with a semi-immortal being with a shtick for showy entrances before my first cup of coffee.

“I swear, whoever-you-are, if you so much as materialise a finger, I will bind you in a circle and hit you with my bag.”

I let said bag fall to the ground with an impressive THUD. The shadows shrink back to their proper place hastily and I smirk. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Nothing like the comforting wight of Shakespeare’s Complete Works to make a girl feel safe…